“It is easier to endure than to change. But once one has changed, what was endured is hard to recall.” -Susan Sontag My friend Kristen had it all. A handsome husband, three beautiful children, the right schools, neighborhood, and lake house. Why, oh why would she give it all up for a divorce? I invited her to lunch. She had an air of confidence I had not seen in a … [Read more...]
Divorce: When Life Changes Creating Positive Outcomes for Children
It is important for parents to realize they are not the only ones going through the divorce. Their children are going through it as well. While children can be quite resilient and can adjust, they need to be included in divorce planning. Children can know from the behaviors in the household that a divorce may be coming, but it can still be a challenge for the children. Children’s … [Read more...]
Tips to Help Weather the Stormy Seas of Divorce
For anyone going through the divorce process, it is a stormy, tumultuous time. Generally, in our first meeting, I like to identify the issues and then we will work through those to help people manage the storm. Here are the top ways that the storms present themselves and how to manage them during the divorce process. 1) Identify the storm During my first call with someone, I … [Read more...]
“Gray Divorce” Is Soaring. What If It Comes For Your Parents?
Here’s how to help them — and yourself — while coming to terms with the split. This article originally appeared on fatherly.com The divorce rate among most adults in the US is dropping. There is, however, one notable exception: older folks. Now, one in four people getting divorced in this country is over 50 years old, with the divorce rate among that age group having roughly … [Read more...]
The ‘gray divorce’ trend: As the Gates split shows, more older couples are getting divorced. Here’s why
This article originally appeared on CNN After 27 years of marriage, Bill and Melinda Gates have Tweeted out their decision to divorce. Why would two people in a long-standing marriage — a union that has seen the couple through the making of billions, and the establishment of one of the world’s largest foundations — decide to part ways? In most marriages, after decades together, we … [Read more...]
To The Mom Who Was Blindsided By Divorce
This blog was originally posted here. Since my divorce about four years ago, I’ve learned more about myself and life than I did during my first 41 years of life. I was with the same man for almost 20 years. I hadn’t worked outside the home for almost 14. I had a cushy, comfortable life that was literally gone with one conversation. I remember being paralyzed with fear … [Read more...]
Financial Tips and Advice for Women in a Divorce
This article originally appeared on https://blog.massmutual.com/post/women-divorce-tips. Women often fare worse financially after a divorce than men do for several reasons. In heterosexual marriages where both the man and woman are employed, the man out earns the woman 77.8 percent of the time, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics.1 This means that post-divorce, many women lose … [Read more...]
How Do You Divorce With Grace?
What does grace mean in the context of divorce? The first answer to that question is feeling at peace with your decision. That doesn’t mean there won’t be pain or difficulties associated with that decision, but grace is the confidence that comes from knowing that you’ve chosen wisely. No one wants to repeatedly stop and start … [Read more...]