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You are here: Home / Blog / How to Handle Stress During a Divorce

How to Handle Stress During a Divorce

May 28, 2019 By Barbara Cole

For many people, divorce can represent the most stressful event they will ever experience.  Stress can lead to negative outcomes in the divorce case and in someones life post-divorce.  Here is a look at how to handle the stress that can come with a divorce.

Focus On Self-Care to Alleviate the Stress and Anxiety

Often, the issues with the marriage have already started to cause stress and the accompanying lack of self-care.  For example, someone may stop eating or exercising.  Some others may narrow their focus to just work or only focus on their children.  In these and other cases, the problem is the person stops caring for themselves.

In addition, stress can literally make someone sick, as it works against the immune system, among other things.  When that person speaks with a lawyer, they’re already deep into self-negligence.

The ensuing divorce proceedings can add to that existing stress in unexpected and very negative ways.  Overly stressed people who don’t take care of themselves can hinder the divorce proceedings or make the process much more difficult.

How to Focus on Self-Care

Some stress relievers and anxiety reducers include:

  • Routine exercising
  • Meditation or breathing exercises
  • Healthy eating
  • Journaling
  • Getting in touch with nature
  • Spending time with loved ones

Of all available options, one key way to help deal with stress and the situation is to seek counseling or therapy.  Counseling allows someone to talk through issues in confidence with someone who can give proper guidance, feedback, and empathy.

While a lawyer will want to hear the story, a counselor or therapist will have the proper tools to help put it all in perspective.  Understanding and perspective can help someone deal with the divorce from a far better mental and emotional state.

In this way, the divorce will become a process the person can go through with a clear mind and the right type of energy.  In turn, that fresh energy and state of mind can help with the post-divorce transition, which is extremely important.

Post-divorce literally creates a new reality for most people.  Stress can make the new reality a nightmare when it should represent a beginning.

Altogether, the stress relief efforts can also help the transition into the post-divorce reality.  Self-care should start as soon as possible, and never stop.  The self-neglect should remain as part of the old reality and not become part of the new one.

Even under the best circumstances, a divorce can still become a heavy drain on someone.  Self-care helps, but sometimes, it’s not always easy to make a full transformation.  When the new reality comes, it can also bring sadness, depression, and destructive habits.

Divorce often requires people to make far-reaching and fundamental changes.  When dragged down by past stresses, those changes can seem impossible to make.  All the stress-relieving methods can also help to deal with these issues as well.

Consider a Collaborative Divorce

One way to help all parties deal with stress and post-divorce transformation is to start with a collaborative divorce. This process helps establish communication between parties and focuses on amicable negotiation.

In a collaborative divorce, both parties can discuss how best to deal with the most important aspects of the proceedings.  For example, two people who want to divorce will typically still want whats best for their children.  A collaborative divorce allows the parties to hammer out those details first.

This process allows for a post-divorce reality with less stress and more understanding of how everything will work.  With the most important things taken care of, the level of stress drops tremendously.

Self-care and the willingness to attempt working with the other party can lower stress levels before, during, and after divorce.  Finding ways to reduce the stresses of divorce will make the process more palatable and navigable for both the client and their lawyer.

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