One of the most difficult things to remember while a family is transitioning to a new divorced reality, is to be thankful for what came before that allowed them all their good blessings. Those blessing being children or the opportunities of having experienced life together.
There is also the opportunity to learn from the pain that has been inflicted in their relationship. We know that pain occurs in all relationships and it is an opportunity for growing. Growth that includes moving forward to become good co-parents to their children and to have a respectful relationship.
In the midst of pain, it is hard to be thankful for that pain. But we know that it is a reality of life and without it, we do not grow. We do not transform.
The truth is in life, if we are not growing and transforming, then we’re stagnant and we’re not living. It is difficult to do, but wisdom and experience tell us that it is a graceful way to live.
For divorcing clients, it is important to see your future in terms of how you are going to live into a new future. This is a kind of growth that is going to eventually come. To help see this, one of the first things that I ask you as my client to do is to get quiet and to be still. The anxiety, panic and chaos of the family being turned upside down, can interfere with the opportunity to see wisdom in the moment.
We work to calm things down. We slow things down. The focus is shifted to the most important goals that you have. We examine the characteristics that you are most interested in preserving going forward and how you want to lead your children in that direction.
What I am thankful for this year
I’m thankful for the opportunity to serve people. I generally meet them on one of their worst days and I have the opportunity to walk with them and help them to see that there is life after divorce. I’m grateful for my teachers and mentors who have shown me the richness of this opportunity. Also, I am grateful for my family and the continued example that they provide for me to continue to do the work that I do.