What does grace mean in the context of divorce?
The first answer to that question is feeling at peace with your decision. That doesn’t mean there won’t be pain or difficulties associated with that decision, but grace is the confidence that comes from knowing that you’ve chosen wisely. No one wants to repeatedly stop and start the divorce process. That’s just too emotionally damaging. Grace comes with moving forward, even when it’s painful.
Moving forward the right way
Having made that decision to divorce, it’s important to move forward the right way. This means dealing with the practical aspects of divorce, such as doing your “homework”, including getting as many financial documents together as possible. If you don’t have access to some documents, make a list of those that are unavailable to you. Your attorney can gain access to them during the discovery process. Also, make sure to copy relevant text messages and social media posts.
Choosing the right attorney
Equally, important is choosing the lawyer that’s right for you and your case. It should be a lawyer that’s willing to walk with you, partner with you, one who you can reach when you need her and need to talk. A divorce isn’t just a transition; it’s an event that will change your life and that of your family, children and relationships going forward. If your lawyer looks at your divorce as transactional (that is to say just another paying client), or if he or she is not property trained in mediation and collaboration, you may not get the advice you need to successfully go through your divorce.
Suggestions for getting through your divorce successfully
A large part of getting through your divorce successfully is learning to process your emotions and to be practical. I recommend that my clients put together a team to help them through the grieving of their marriage. This can be a church family or a group of close friends, but you need help to get through this time.
Distribution of property causes fear in many people who are divorcing, especially if they were not the person who handled the finances. In most cases, there will be initial setbacks, but most of my clients recover and grow from these setbacks.
Most people just don’t want to be hurt from the divorce process, nor do they want to hurt their former spouse. However, finding the right balance can be tricky. That’s what we’re here to help you with, finding that grace that comes with creating the right balance of confidence and respect.
To learn more about divorcing with grace, contact me, Barbara Cole at The Cole Law Firm, at 972.735.8412. I welcome the opportunity to speak with you and help you get through your divorce successfully.
